Today was the most awful day of the week. The whole day I was feelin totally disconnected with the world and was irritated by every little thing that happened...
Wad is wrong wif me? Am I pms-ing? Hopez not
Actually morning and early afternoon wasn't all that bad cos chua came to my place n we had lotsa fun decorating the Christmas tree, watching vcds, eating pizza...hee hee...juz thinkin abt puts a smile on my face...I mean, since when doesn't it feel good when u are down and ur gd friend is with you having fun??? With the hamster too...
Then things took a bad turn at abt 4:45pm... my grandma was callin me to do some things and I was in the kitchen getting chua a drink so obviously I didn't hear her and neither did chua understand her lang. So in the end, she complained to my mom who in turn said some shitty things..thank god it wasn't one of those all hell break loose conversation
After we were done with the Christmas tree, I tot of going to orchard rd to get Christmas present for my dad(actually it was just to get out of the house)...it was ah wong who gave me the idea of buying that present but I forgot the name so I tried to describe it to the shopkeeper who gave me the "HUH" expression and I gave up... ~sighz~
I decided to call my friends for help beginning wif grace coz I told her my idea b4 but she didn't noe the name so sadly I said bye. She didn't ans back. The only thing was the disconnected line... **? How nice...
Called wanching...marianne chang...huay shan...the lines were either busy or disconnected, or they were simply not in or they didn't noe...
Deciding not to take up chua's time any further (cos it was getting pretty late), we parted.
Have you ever had those kinda of feeling like u are some kinda lonely soul and just floating around... yeah. I was feelin sumpthin sorta like it. The worst thing was that my hp suddenly vibrated out of my hands (seriously, I dunno how the hell that happened cos it was only receiving a msg) and I was crawling on the floor reaching for the phone which seems as if I am nvr gonna reach it... man! I felt like the whole mall was staring at me... complete loser lar...
Then saw huay shan's msg "I'm sorry I can't help you...if u wanna go for another shopping trip or sth and want company call me! Good luck."
Awww...how sweet... I guess when u are feeling like that for no fucking reason at all, little things like that tends to make u feel happier...like "hey! I have friends" (damn, that was a lame expression)
So I continued walking and walking and walking...until I didn't noe where I was!!! I was like some stupid shit there suffering from memory loss and didn't noe how to go home... but I wasn't scared or wad...thankfully...juz felt haggard when I see so many smartly dressed people, be it people knocking off from work or friends going shopping...the word "LOSER" juz keep coming to my head...
Of course I managed to get home...bumped into my tuition friend on the way...almost didn't see my friend... my friend nodded, waved, gave a smile... I said "hi"...it came out so fake...as if I wasn't me...may appear superficial...wadeva
Maybe I shudn"t keep caring wad others think of me for one min. and be more relax...but that's how I am...even while writing this entry, I am like "wad will others think of me after this??"... maybe that's wad make me Vanessa
Wad is wrong wif me?
Am I pms-ing?
Hopez not