Blogging from office again..i am finally feeling a little stability emotionally and gradually accepting the cruel fact slowly. Thanks to all who made time to accompany me, talk to me, distract me from my thoughts and help me through this incident. I suppose it's the ability to pull ourselves together and persevere that makes us human superior to other beings on earth. Come to think of it, I didn't actually tried to make too much an effort to forget or relieve myself of the pain in any way atall. Somehow, I was soothed over time and getting the pieces of my life back together. I vaguely smelled her yesterday night..like as if she just walked out of the room. And her door suddenly shut as well. Just that there was nobody. I suppose under normal circumstances, I would be terrified and horrific by that but I wasn't. Just a little shakened, though. In fact, come to think of it, I was comforted that she managed to find her way back home again. I am not sure if this incident has allowed me to turn for the better or for the worse, 'cos while I find myself treasuring my daddy and mummy a trillion yards more, there is also a growing nagging paranoia that is developing within me that anything will happen to them anytime unexpected. Aside from them, whenever I think of my older relatives or my cousin or anyone close to me for that matter, I will think that one day they will leave me and I wouldn't know how will I accept it once again and live through this living torture once again. While I strongly believe that it is the innate ability of humans to pick themselves up after a blow, I also cannot hide the fact that shattering the life of a person too many times may eventually cause us to fall forever.

Take the analogy of a piece of porcelain. Dropping it once may cause the porcelain to break into many big pieces. But ultimately, with patience, love, care and time, we can glue the pieces back together, although ithas been scarred for life. However, if you repeatedly drop the porcelain on the floor and pieces once glued are shattered again and shattered further, it will eventually come a time where that piece of porcelain isno longer mendable. Life is like a piece of porcelain - hard on the outside, brittle on the inside, continuous blows towards it may collapse our fragile lives as well.

I was asked to be the wedding MC for my colleague's wedding. I think I shouldn't take that role up due to various reasons like inexperience and the incident. But still I was actually quite excited just by the thought that I may have been one. I have never been one before but it sounds like fun. In the end, she asked me to help her do her wedding montage. I don't think I can say no to that but I am doing that with chua. Daddy says I shouldn't attend the wedding because it is chinese tradition not to do so when one of your family members has passed on. In fact, he doesn't think I should do the wedding montage as well. But he is excited about the thought of me doing for others as well. It seems such a pity if I can't do that for her. But she knows about the incident and it was after the incident that she asked me to do the wedding montage for her.So I suppose she ain't superstitious right? I don't want to be either. But it seems weird if I miss some cousin of mine wedding and attend hers. We shall see how it goes from here, I guess. I really want to do the video for her. I already have so many great ideas for the video leand plus, chua promised to help me. So it will be fun doing with her. I forgot when's the last time we did a project together.

Speaking of Chua, if you have visited my GB, you'd probably seen an eye-raising sentence under her recent tag. I am here to help her(hai...once again) to clarify that that last sentence is NOT said by her. She may be blur enough to let some idiot intrude her tag on my blog but she is not that idiotic to say such a sentence when she jolly well know it will spark off adverse consequences from ALL of our friends. There. I said it. You can infer a lot from just that few sentences. But bottomline, hope it is clear to all that the last sentence is not true. Let's end it here before I start blabbing off.

See you.

on a side note . . .

I cannot BELIEVE that Johnny Depp didnt win the best actor award and some guy called Day-Lewis starring in the movie "there will be blood" got it. stupidity above all stupidity. in protest, i shall not watch "there will be blood".