entry written on 01 March, 2007
bleaugh...i am so irritated with myself this current moment, i simply do not know where to begin or even how to begin illustrating this seething emotion. RAAAA!!!!! ugh...
just tot perhaps i shud warn the opposite gender if any happen to be reading this: i think the reason why i am irritated with myself is not something you may be able to understand with, unless you are those sensitive new age guys. yep. so if you insist of reading on, please bear with my imprudent childishness for which i will not apologise.
today is perhaps one of the most disgraceful days i have ever chanced upon. i think that even with my limited amount of intelligence, i ought to figure out that hanging your stupid mouth open for the school photographer to take a picture of you will be absolutely nonsensical. but NO! darling vanessa went ahead with her stupid pose, which was wierdly, but highly encouraged by the photographers. so during the CCA leaders' photo shoot, while everyone had their glam pose and positions ready, someone sitting right smack in the middle has her big mouth open like a idiot gawking away for the whole entire school to laugh at once the photo is developed. i seriously wun be surprised if someone attempts to vandalise my picture. cos i will want to if i am others...ugh
grrrrrraAAAHHHHH!!!! i am really so frustrated and worried at the same time that the picture will turn out really horrid. but i was holding on to 2 puppets at that time and their mouths were hanging open as well. so i thought the sensible thing is not to try and be demure cos
1. i wud never be able to be demure...ahaa..yes..vanessa wun try to kid herself
2. that wud look really fake when you are holding two crazy puppets and smiling nicely and all.
sigh...my name will be on the photo for the next few generations to have some entertainment with. and the last thing they need is to blow up my picture real big and make it the picture of the day, titled "close your mouth". BAH!
i am so scared you will see it. i dunno which will be better. for you to see it and laugh at me after that, or see it and just keep mum about it - but in your mind thinking how atrocious i look. i think i really care about your opinion. perhaps more than others. perhaps if others laugh at my photo, the only reason why i will be irritated is because deep down inside, i am just afraid that you will be thinking the same negative comments but too polite to say it. so perhaps when the picture is developed and shown to the entire school, you can just come up to me and lie to vanessa, saying "hey you look really awesome!" and i may even feel betta.
or maybe before that, the picture will be torn down by me or someone else who is just as disgusted by my presence.
yucks.