*warning* if you do not wish to hear the whining part of the entry, you can choose the option of scrolling down until you see the phrase "anw, for the light hearted matters" in bold red. i have a lot of pictures of the buffet neetha and i went to (for those who love food) and Drama Night '08 exclusive shots! (for drama lovers)

Feeling highly upset with my parents now. i think they do likewise too. i feel like they dont get what i am trying to put across sometimes but yet assumes they understand anyway. oh wells.

The story goes
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i got a new tuition assignment and this kid is staying arnd Marsiling area. so while i went for Drama Night today, my parents decided to go to the place to check it out. apparently, they werent too please with it and even gave names of the most hideous kinds. trust me, they were. can ask audrey. and they spend to whole night yelling at me that if i enter that house, i will never come out alive and so on...which to be honest, freaks me out pretty much because of their utmost vivid description. nonetheless, i wasnt prepared to let this assignment go without going for at least the first lesson. i mean, think about it, its not the money or the experience of it all, but rather, its a responsibility that when you promise to do something, you show up. and queerly, this was also a discipline instilled by my parents. yet now, when i reason with them that i cannot cancel the student last minute because of one, the center is going to charge me a admin cost of $20 and two, the family will be waiting for me to come. and i dun think they will be too pleased with a tutor who never showed up. and worst of all, i cannot call the tuition center to cancel because tomorrow is sunday and i dun think the center will be open. and even if they do, the chances of them opening before 8am is highly unlikely. and i am suppose to tutor at 9am. sigh. i know my parents are doing this for my own good la...but i dun think they are considering too much of my reputation regarding the issue of responsibility and the family's feelings. sigh. this is so upsetting. anw, i dunno how i am gonna get through this but i hope i will ba. tml. sigh.

anw, for the light hearted matters
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tonight was the finale Drama Night 2008! whee! seriously, i aint saying this because i was the ex-Pres or whatever, but the cast for SYF is really really really strong. A lot of people agreed in unison, including henry who went!! haha. and i cried twice in the show! many also admitted that they were either close to crying or had tears in their eyes. c'mon, if you think its that easy to put up a touching sad show when you aint professional actors and actresses, well, its not. and even now, as i am typing, i think of the last scene, i still feel a tugging feeling at my heart. sigh. its really good. i am glad this is the SYF play. yays. three cheers to Drama Club and good luck =)


took loads of pictures (as i promised in my previous entry) today. The camera started clicking at about 1pm when neetha and i had our buffet lunch in taka. yum yum *pats tummy* took lots of pictures with food here. haha.















wow. there were lots of good food and nice desserts as you can see. i took lots of the japanese food whereas neetha was in charge of bringing a lot of the nice desserts. whee! had a fun time gorging! hahaha.


then we head on down to shop for a while before we met up with the others for the show. ran a few of neetha's errands which prevented me from window shopping more. haha.


anw, arnd 5:45pm, neetha and i met up the rest to go SRT. again, the camera got whipped out before the show, during the show and after the show. so *click* *click* *click* non stop. so fun!



This is nytia and neetha. One is the Vice Pres. of '07 and the other is the Vice Pres. of '06.









oooo...she is one of my juniors acting in the play meant for SYF. She is an absolute amazing, fabulous actress. one of the culprits that made me cry. haha.




and of course, how can i ever pass the chance of taking more pictures with ms kwok and the current Pres.

anw, as i was uploading these pictures, i realised that i have spent the entire day with neetha and yet we two do-do birds have never got a picture together. *claps*





Before my senior (yuan long) fetched me, nytia and neetha from the SRT, i had a chance to snap a few last minute shot of the entire crew and cast while the teachers were giving them the debrief. haha. if you look carefully at the photo, there is actually one guy who posed for me and i didnt know until i got into yuan long's car. haha. the guy is yu hsin, roughly in the center, first row. haha. adorable junior.

after Drama Night, neetha and i went to city hall to have a drink and had a girl to girl talk. y'know what i mean. haha. spent a great day with her though we were both tired and bushed. but i had a great time with her and i hope she did too!! haha. too bad she cant visit my blog. apparently, people who suscribe to Mozillla Firefox cant access my blog. sianz. shud i change blog skin??

anw, hope you guys enjoyed this loooong entry. ahaha.

blogging from office again. just finished lunch and am super super sleeeppppyy...i think i am turning into a pig soon. nvm. lewis told me he has to wake up at 5:15am every morning so i cant complain. *yawns* VERY SLEEPY!

just accepted a tuition kid staying at marsiling. am expected to teach maths and english. dun really keep track of what they teach in primary school le but neetha says it will be fine. since she is teaching pri 5 kids and she says its okay..i suppose it will really be okay ba. still...a bit scared scared. nvm. neetha and i am gg to hit the bookstore this weekend after our buffet lunch to check out the Primary One syllabus. ahaha. whens the last time i read those books? hee..

okay. back to Barclays.

Drama Night Opens Tonight!

MANCHESTER UNITED WON!!!!!! YEEESSSSS!!!! WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!! WHEE!!!!!!!
I am so proud of my darling! He scored the 1st equalizer for the team. OMG. I was so worried when he was responsible for scoring the free kick. BUT I am glad he made it. Haha. I have never been so glad to see the word BARCLAYS in my entire life and I bet I will do my recon for BARCLAYS properly with a big huge wide smile on my face tml as well because whenever I see that word, I will think of the beautiful shot cristiano scored for the team. Haha. And to think that it was arsenal’s captain who allowed MY cristiano ronaldo to get the free kick. Haha. Thanks arsenal!!! Hee hee hee..OH! And of course, lets not forget about the other goal scored by Hargreaves. Woots! No...DOUBLE WOOTS! The goalkeeper was fantastic today too although he made one error that caused arsenal to score that one goal. But overall, with so many good saves, I think ferguson ought to give him a bonus. Ahha. And ferdinand was good as usual. Ha..It is needless to say he is good. My number one defender =) aye. It feels wrong to just pin point on any particular man utd player and say they are good cos ALL were fantastic like evra, brown, tevez, giggs, blah blah blah...even the manager and the water boy. Haha. so good job MAN UTD!

But truth be told, I must admit that arsenal is a super fit team. The game was so hot till the last minute and although I am a fervent man utd fan, hats off to arsenal players! *applause* esp to theo walcott *ahem* He was the one that made me so worried whenever he has the ball because I always reckon him as a formidable player, with a great attitude and temper. They practically tire all my man utd players out and they were playing fast game from the very first min right up to the very last 94th second. But I think Song didn’t do too good a job in covering his defense. My dad agrees with me too.

Arsenal got a whole stack of yellow cards from the referee. Six yellow cards to arsenal and two to man utd. I am glad it was only yellow cards though ‘cos as much as I wanted an advantage to man utd, I didn’t think they winning because they was challenging against a 10-man team would be as glorious as a 11-man team. Haha.

My darling didn’t play up to his usual form in this match. Sigh. Even the commentators were commenting on that. BUT (pls la...i just HAVE to stand up for him. Haha!) I just have to admit that even his not-up-to-form standard is waaaaay better than a lot of people on the pitch. Don’t bother trying to talk me out of this one unless you want to ruin our friendship. Ahem! Yes. It’s a threat.

While watching the ‘show’, I saw my second darling aka torres scored for liverpool at the 82nd minute. Haha. double happiness! Liverpool won blackburn 3 vs 1. Good job. Not as happy as manchester united winning though but I know someone is...so...Congrats to my block 101B neighbour GRACE LEE EN HUI! Did you manage to crawl out of bed to watch your team despite the fact that you are sick?? And your lao gong never play ar?? Wanna spend more time with you izit? Haha. so sweet. Awww...haha I am fantasizing for you more than you are fantasizing more for yourself. Ahaha.

Anw, the points are manchester united has 80 points and chelsea is at 74 points and arsenal is 71 points. I believe chelsea will win the match tonight so it will be 77 points for chelsea tml. Yays. I think if chelsea wins, I will be happy oso ba. If manchester wins, I will be a combination of euphoria and excitement. Haha. okie. My dad has very successfully cultivated a strong sense of Man Utd passion in me since birth.

Alrighty, I am gonna sleep now (with a humongous smile on my face). Think I will be going to work early tml to do Barclays. OH! I DON’T LIKE...I JUST LURRVE BARCLAYS! Keke.



Toodles!

LOVE YOU FERDINAND! *hugs*

LOVE YOU EVEN MORE RONALDO! *DOUBLE HUGS*

Haha!

Nights everyone.

*yawns* workload is getting heavier and heavier by the day and i am running to and fro betweem the management office and the current office i am in, more often than ever. sianz...but i suppose it beats having nothing to do or doing the same load every single day.
feeling pretty stressed out recently. seems like i am out trying to solve every other problem of others and none of my own. and when i take a look at my load of problems, its like getting slapped in broad daylight *piack* with those rods that flinstones use to have with them. *ouch* *rubs forehead*
it seems awfully tough to get across to my friends nowadays too. maybe not all. just one. haha. exaggeratingly used the plural of friend for no rhyme or reason. i dun seem to be able to hold out a conversation any longer than 10 mins without feeling a sense of despair at the direction to which the conversation is heading - and the only time i dun get the sense of despair after the 10 mins is because we have a third party with us...or we aint talking at all. i am not trying to be unreasonable or not understanding enough as a friend but sometimes i feel that trying too hard can be a problem too. and probably right now, i am trying to hard to understand someone who probably is not ready to be understood. so instead of feeling like a complete klutz, i should, like in the words of the beatles,

"when i find myself in times of trouble,

mother mary comes to me,

speaking words of wisdom,

let it be, let it be."

9 days more to go. my bedside calendar has paused at that date exactly one year ago...that is until my maid went to fiddle with the dates. so silly, i dun even know why i am feeling so apprehensive. anyways, i shall be meeting PW group mates this weekend if carine returns as she promised back to singapore on the 9th of april. tried asking her just now over msn but she signed offline and dao-ed me. *wails* haha
i suppose i am quite pleased with the few groups i got myself into in JC. I mean, sure, in a group, there bounds to be those who decides to move on for different reasons but as long as the majority choose to stay, the group is still consider the same group who have gotten together for the same reason. i mean, think about it, which PW group still meets up? haha! then i have my crazy sheena-na group, and my darling LTC group, my lovable dotz clique, my treasured IJ clique..i think that is enough to last me a lifetime.
So this saturday is PW gathering, next saturday is Drama Night and buffet with Neetha (WHEE!!!! loads of pictures to be taken. i promise!) and next sunday is dotz clique outing and i dunno where...somewhere along the next few days...let me check...erm...oh yea! next next week is sheena-na chalet. recently my scattered brain is getting from bad to worse. if i left my schedule book at home, i will feel as if i am left the right side of my brain at home too. ugh.
off to watch CSI now. cya. =)

toodling off
vanessa

YAY...t'is been a while since i changed my blogskin. pretty pleased with the work though i will be making more changes to it soon. hope you guys like it (plus the music..love the singer)
*yawns*
nights

sigh...spend the whole sunday afternoon trying to set up Facebook and Wayn. i realise when you dun have too much internet access time, and suddenly you decided to join in the fun of signing up every other thing, there is a lot of work and catching up to do.
thought of changing my blog skin too. if there is an expiry date to blog skin, mine would have gone from mouldy to decomposed few months ago. i think the status for my blog skin now should be called DECEASED.
sian. oh wells, i got the perfect song for my blog le. just need to find the perfect blog skin to match the perfect song, i guess.
for now, i am back to doing my facebook again. yep yep.

"The bus is travelling to the right ."

When asked, "Why do you think the bus is travelling to the right ?"

They answered: "Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."

get it?

if the bus is travelling to the left, you would be able to see the door.

anw, for those of you who sms me the ans, hope you are happy that you got it right for the wrong reasons. haha.

hello =) its me again. haha. anw, we colleagues like to email each other during work (cheng en will understand) and i thought i shared one of them with you guys. haha.

This is a quiz that most pre-schoolers took in australia and 90% got it right.
Are you smarter than a preschooler??
Qn:
Which way is the bus below travelling?

To the left or to the right?

..... And how do you know this? (give a reason) haha...









let you know the answer when you guys give me one =)



i hope i have smart friends. hee hee

this is just some LTC outing photos we had on saturday, march 22nd

eunice organised an LTC outing last saturday for a dinner plus movie outing. there, we went to watch my much-awaited STEP UP 2!!! whee...it was a really nice show la though i dun understand why (and HOW?!) did chin ping manage to fall asleep when the song by Flo Rida - Low was so loud in the cinema and i was talking to her half the time during the show cos the movements were just so cool!! haha. the last part felt a little like a korean mv though cos there was this korean guy dancing in the rain..didnt know why i got that feeling..i suppose many of my friends didnt get why i had that feeling either! haha.

anw, after the show, we went to eat at a jap restaurant in the same building as The Cathay there. had loads of fun talking and yakking and gossiping and as usual, me trying to confuse lynette with whatever i said. anw, lynette says everything that is said that night will be kept between the 7 of us so its sacred i guess? haha. so SshHH! cant tell anyone. haha.

anw, we took plenty of pictures that night. here are some of them. the rest is still with lewis i guess. cant believe i forgot to bring my camera. more importantly, cant believe my LTC group is still going strong! whee!!

lynette, me, eunice and chin ping!

haha...we actually took these two shots in the toilet!! haha...dunno how long the boys waited for us outside the washroom. oOps!

took this after dinner at some jap restaurant (below) that eunice ordered a whole truckload of food to share with me! haha. gorging fiesta!

Picture of the Night...i LuuRRRVVEEE this picture!

i am so worned out by this university application thing la. i mean, yea, i really do hope i will get accepted into the university of my choice and into the course i want to go...as in i really really hope to but i have been trying to fill in the application forms for all of the 3 universities since dunno-when and till date, i have not successfully applied for a SINGLE UNIVERSITY in the WORLD! ARGH! and as you can tell, i am going insane. yep. going mad..mad till the extent that she actually smsed her boss at 11:38pm to complain how stress she was. and her boss actually comforted her. well done.
anyway, i took a day's leave tml to settle ALL that i haven't settled, signed up for ALL that i want to sign up and do ALL the things i want to do. in fact, i think 1 day is not enough. not unless i skip breakfast, lunch, dinner plus sleep. yes. i am not exaggerating. that is the amount of workload i have to do. but if 1 day isnt enough for me, and i take more than 1 day off work, i will be going back to my office with two days of undone work and that will be ALOT to do as well! plus i realised that i havent received my referral from my company yet! and i said i will need it by wednesday. so rightly speaking they should give it to me today or tml (when i am on leave).
this entry is like a dumping ground for me to vomit all my random thoughts that is causing me a headache the entire night and i think i have to come up with a check list in order to ensure that i do everything complete by tml plus breakfast, lunch, dinner and sleep.

Something distressing occurred recently. Talking about it makes me sufficiently disturbed and irritated. YOU! I HATE YOU! ARGH!!!!! I want you out of my life, my sight and most of all, MY FACE!!!! ARGGGHHHH!!!
STUPID IDIOTIC PIMPLES!!!!!!!! *screams* *wails*
And of all times you had to grow, you must grow during my office hours, while I am merrily working away..okay. Maybe not so merry. Haha. Ugh. Pimples pimples pimples. Two big ones congregating at the right side of my cheek and one more hiding behind my fringe. Yuck yuck yuck. I wont be surprise if my friends start commenting on it when I meet them later.

Brainstorming for Reasons for Pimples
- eating too much chocolates (c'mon la...if I don't eat, I will be writing reasons for stress instead. When I am stress, I binge. So let it be..let it be)
- okay. So in conclusion from the previous point, one of the reasons is because I am stressed.
- eating too much hello panda biscuits. More 6 packets in 2 days (no comments/ same as the above)
- touching keyboards then touching face (a very bad habit of mine :( but then again, who doesn't?)
- drinking insufficient fluids (hmmm, I've been drinking more lately le. Never mind, shall walk to the pantry more often then. there is a rather cute colleage there after all. actually there is two.)
- late night sleep (hmmm..fine fine. *grudgingly admits* 5am is really a little too late.)
- never wash off make up cleanly (I don't think so!)

In Conclusion, Reasons are ...
I am eating too much chocolates and hello panda-s. Basically, I am eating more than usual lately and its not just limited to the chocolates and hello panda-s. But I suppose these two snacks would be sufficient to cause havoc on my face. However, the realy underlying reason behind this gorging fiesta is due to the stress-es in my life recently.
Keyboards are known to be more deadly in terms of germs than a toilet bowl hence its ironical that the thought of touching a toilet bowl and then touching my face makes me squirm but the thought of touching the keyboard and subsequently touching my face doesn't make me cringe - at all. But nonetheless, I shall make an effort to stop touching my face unneccessarily. *touch face* STOP IT! *touch face again*
I slept at 6pm in the evening on Saturday night when most of the world are partying the night away and woke up at 8am the next day. Been sleeping early recently so keep up the good habit I guess. So it can't be sleeping late since the pimple only popped up today. Ugh. But time seems so little and life seems so fruitless when you work 3/4 of the day away and spend the next 1/4 doing nothing but sleep.
I do the necessary for removing make-up. I shall not dwell further on that. Haha.
And lastly, I thought of the most important and hence, valid reason forthe popping up of pimples. I have not exercised since the week before this chinese new year.

train of thoughts in a thinking bubble

many things have been happening in my life recently. its like a morning train, where people at squashed in every part of the cabin and there is absolutely NO breathing space? yea. that is kinda how my brain is functioning currently. Work is definitely getting more hectic with commision reports being churned out at the speed of lightning. and more calls are coming in for my section leader who is on leave so although speaking to people from bank of america, luxemburg, london, DBS finance, etc etc is kinda cool, it is also very stressful if you realise that you are speaking to pretty influential and powerful people of status here. anw, *touch wood* so far everything is going fine and i am trying my best to keep up with the work schedule without appearing like a headless chicken or a haggard housewife.

A levels results is finally out about one week ago. everyone is debating which course to go, what to do and which uni to attend. nonetheless, since i am a student, i have to be thinking about the same things as well. so what course shall i go? what do i want to do? and which university should i attend or rather, can attend? over the past two years, especially within these few days, my passion for different courses have been running wild and jumping from health sciences to social sciences to comm studies to business to accountancy to business and finance. well, one thing for sure, it is not an option that i should cancel out comm studies. my dad suggested a few things that were quite to my liking over dinner and i will try discussing with a few of my closer frenz, teachers i am comfortable with, colleagues and relatives before i make my final decision.

working world has definitely opened my eyes to see people clearer and better. perhaps some may say that i have changed, for better or for worse, but i think overall its a good effect on me. of course, some people may say others changed because they cannot stand that person becoming better so they say they become worse and there will be those who say others have become better when in reality that person has become worse because they like to see them going further downhill in life. then of course, there will always be those that tell you truthfully, point-blank in the face your pros and cons. working has allowed me to see that backstabbing is not only confined to the box you turn on every day to watch drama series and news. it is reality and it has dawned on me that it really existed. the only thing in contrast is that in real life, you cannot throw your popcorn or yell curses at the backstabber like you always do in front of the TV, which is very scary. i must say the talk i had with one of my dearest teachers has enlightend me a great deal. he probably wun rmb what he said to me but he is those kind of teachers that says little but when you ponder over the few sentences he says, it will have a big impact on you. so thank you mr joshua ng, though you are prolly not here to notice. and of cos, another to thank is ms melissa kwok. my two dearest teachers. and of course the rest shall be found in IJ. actually only one, and i miss her quite much.
but on a lighter note, it is heartening to note that my department aint that much as bad as i described above. they are nice and caring and though fierce and stern in their own ways, great colleagues. so i am contented.
i shall be going to NUS with neetha tomorrow.
i feel happy to be with her. yay.
she is one of those that will point-blank tell you your pros and cons, unless she knows the person will make a big fuss abt the cons she says...em..yea. me. so heh heh...*sheepish look* haha.

~toodles~
*poof*

Blogging from office again..i am finally feeling a little stability emotionally and gradually accepting the cruel fact slowly. Thanks to all who made time to accompany me, talk to me, distract me from my thoughts and help me through this incident. I suppose it's the ability to pull ourselves together and persevere that makes us human superior to other beings on earth. Come to think of it, I didn't actually tried to make too much an effort to forget or relieve myself of the pain in any way atall. Somehow, I was soothed over time and getting the pieces of my life back together. I vaguely smelled her yesterday night..like as if she just walked out of the room. And her door suddenly shut as well. Just that there was nobody. I suppose under normal circumstances, I would be terrified and horrific by that but I wasn't. Just a little shakened, though. In fact, come to think of it, I was comforted that she managed to find her way back home again. I am not sure if this incident has allowed me to turn for the better or for the worse, 'cos while I find myself treasuring my daddy and mummy a trillion yards more, there is also a growing nagging paranoia that is developing within me that anything will happen to them anytime unexpected. Aside from them, whenever I think of my older relatives or my cousin or anyone close to me for that matter, I will think that one day they will leave me and I wouldn't know how will I accept it once again and live through this living torture once again. While I strongly believe that it is the innate ability of humans to pick themselves up after a blow, I also cannot hide the fact that shattering the life of a person too many times may eventually cause us to fall forever.

Take the analogy of a piece of porcelain. Dropping it once may cause the porcelain to break into many big pieces. But ultimately, with patience, love, care and time, we can glue the pieces back together, although ithas been scarred for life. However, if you repeatedly drop the porcelain on the floor and pieces once glued are shattered again and shattered further, it will eventually come a time where that piece of porcelain isno longer mendable. Life is like a piece of porcelain - hard on the outside, brittle on the inside, continuous blows towards it may collapse our fragile lives as well.

I was asked to be the wedding MC for my colleague's wedding. I think I shouldn't take that role up due to various reasons like inexperience and the incident. But still I was actually quite excited just by the thought that I may have been one. I have never been one before but it sounds like fun. In the end, she asked me to help her do her wedding montage. I don't think I can say no to that but I am doing that with chua. Daddy says I shouldn't attend the wedding because it is chinese tradition not to do so when one of your family members has passed on. In fact, he doesn't think I should do the wedding montage as well. But he is excited about the thought of me doing for others as well. It seems such a pity if I can't do that for her. But she knows about the incident and it was after the incident that she asked me to do the wedding montage for her.So I suppose she ain't superstitious right? I don't want to be either. But it seems weird if I miss some cousin of mine wedding and attend hers. We shall see how it goes from here, I guess. I really want to do the video for her. I already have so many great ideas for the video leand plus, chua promised to help me. So it will be fun doing with her. I forgot when's the last time we did a project together.

Speaking of Chua, if you have visited my GB, you'd probably seen an eye-raising sentence under her recent tag. I am here to help her(hai...once again) to clarify that that last sentence is NOT said by her. She may be blur enough to let some idiot intrude her tag on my blog but she is not that idiotic to say such a sentence when she jolly well know it will spark off adverse consequences from ALL of our friends. There. I said it. You can infer a lot from just that few sentences. But bottomline, hope it is clear to all that the last sentence is not true. Let's end it here before I start blabbing off.

See you.

on a side note . . .

I cannot BELIEVE that Johnny Depp didnt win the best actor award and some guy called Day-Lewis starring in the movie "there will be blood" got it. stupidity above all stupidity. in protest, i shall not watch "there will be blood".

It's over. It's really all over now.

But yet it feels like nothing is over at the same time.

i feel as if i can still walk into the room and call out to her, and see her sitting at the side of her bed there, waiting for me to come home. and when i come in, she will always smile her sweet smile at me and say "come home already ar..."

well, since she doesnt answer me very loudly either, i guess i wouldnt feel that much of a difference if i dun hear a response when i call out to her..today.

the pain in my heart is so unbearable. when i dun think of it, i feel as if nothing has happened at all, yet when i think of it, my tears just cannot control itself. my throat hurts from trying to suppress the emotions but my heart aches more. i feel like ripping it apart and stomping it flat on the ground.

its hardly been a week and i already feel myself wallowing up in self pity already. horrid despicable disgusting self pity. i hate myself. useless bum. burn me alive, inside out.

its tough acting like you are still strong and carefree when you arent. you joke about in the office still, yet within a minute, you silently drop a tear or two at the corner of your office in pain. you even chide yourself for stupidly wearing mascara which will make it even more freaking obvious that you cried. and finally, when someone who realises you aint that strong ask you if you are alright, you cant find it within yourself to put away this brave front and tell them your darkest fears and pain. Moron of the Millenium.

I love her so much that i cant find it in myself to let go.
I miss her so much that i cant find it in myself to forget her that easily or that quickly.
I miss her talking, her laughter, her touch, her jokes (even if i dun get it sometimes), her footsteps, her cooking, her nonsense, her pride, her voice, her face, her ... i miss her.
and i hope she misses me too and watching me missing her. shit i cant stop crying.

i dun really like this colour but i know she likes it. so i am using this colour for her.

Messages in a bottle

To Grace:
Thanks for picking up my call and even offering to come over to help.
To be honest, I was really tempted to say yes that night when you offered, but I know that would not be right for you, or nice of me to do so too. I am really glad you offered though.

To Carine:
Thanks for picking up my call and hearing me cry my heart out...esp this time. That cry was one of the worst cry I had, I think. But I was really glad to hear your voice. Really.And I suppose it was you also who told the rest ba. Thanks for letting our friends noe...felt really supported and encouraged when I got their sms-es.

To Cheng en:
I'm back in office today. And needless to say, I felt like the best recipe for the perfect shit mixture. I was between the stage of numb and crying. But arnd 11:38am, I realised that I didn't open my microsoft outlook yet and when I did, I was really surprised to see so many of your emails for me. Just so you know, I am really really touched by all your emails and they have been one of the greatest sources I seek strength from to carry on working, instead of crying. You are right. I shouldn't keep everything to myself but I can't find the initiative to bring up the subject to anyone. So maybe if you want, you can ask me first? Haha. But dun ask when in crowded places k? cos I don't think I can talk about it to anyone without me crying. And I don't want to cry, cos I dunno how long I will cry this time.
And that day when you emailed me at 7:17pm, I was still working till 7:30pm. Just that I logged off my outlook le. Glad that you finally jia ban.

To Xiuxuan, Cynthia:
Thanks for the sms-es. Whatever the reason may be that you guys cant attend to funeral, its okie. Really.
But news travel very fast. I only put down my phone with carine that night and on the same night you guys msged me le. But reading your sms-es made me feel better and easier to pull my (weakling) self together.
So thanks again....

To Chua:
Hmmm...actually there are a lot of things to tell you and say to you, but i dun quite seem to be able to phrase it properly in words. so i guess, once again, it's boiled down to thanks for being there for me. you allowed me to vent my anger on you, we cried on the same day, just as badly, for different reasons and though its true that you really cant comfort me for nuts, i am still very heartened simply by your presence on the last day of the funeral. and thanks for making me eat my dinner by competing with me for the food. its always nicer to have someone eat with you when its so difficult to swallow down anything.

To Angie:
sorta told you last minute, after the whole issue was over, when you popped over my hse ytd. thanks for offering to pei me whenever i felt lonely and making me smile. a better comforter than chua? haha. hmmm, once again, thanks for being there.

For once in my entire life, I am speechless. I don't know how else to put it, other than "thanks for being there for me." Whether you knew what happened recently or not, so long as you are a good fren of mine, I am sure you would have been there for me, supporting me all the way.
So thank you to all of you.
I mean it.

to chengen:

hey! wanna catch it during a week day? after work?? ho ho ho. email you during work time to cfm with you eh? haha! we sure save a lot of sms-es by emailing manz..haha. you still coming on monday rite??

to grace:

yay! haha. grace...if you die, you cannot watch the show le. so dun die. haha. anw, it was fun hanging out with you for 2 consecutive nights eh? haha. lets have another sleepover soon! i promise i wun be the pig to sleep first again! haha.

had a chance to catch up with a friend today. we went to catch atonement in the end so i finally found my movie partner to watch atonement!! ahaha. yay. apparently, this is the first time my fren actually caught a M18 show. so bravo??..yes yes..BRAVO! hahaha. am i suppose to feel honoured?

atonement is really a literature film to me. no wonder it won the Best Film Award. The way the story is reenacted was a little confusing if you cant link very well or have a good catch of the time frame of each scenario. i am proud to say...I GOT IT! haha. but i was a bit confused at first oso la. a lot of loud "huh?!" coming from me. haha...not to mention my friend..louder i think. lol.

also, i managed to buy my diary le from times. and at the same time, because we bought popcorn combo for the movie, we got a free notebook with jumper at the cover page. yay! and my nice nice fren decided to give me. haha! so sweet. haha. cos my friend knows if dun give, i will snatch. haha. oOpS! moment of truth revealed.

anw, super tired now. still wanna watch jumper tml with another fren...cos my mum decided to back out last minute...boooooo!! haha. so chua and i will be watching tgt ba. den go shopping in bugis! hopefully i can find my nice shirts there. haha.

quite tired now. so going off! tada!

Shows I Wish To Watch

- Kung Fu Dunk

i heard its quite a bad show from my relatives but why am i still gonna watch it? because i like Jay Chou. but it will definitely not be a show i will squeeze time out just to watch. maybe if i have the time or so happen i am with someone who wishes to watch that show, then i will watch ba. if not, i think there are always more deserving shows to watch. No Offence! haha.

- Sweeney Todd (watching with neetha)

i cannot believe that i haven rushed to the cinema nearest to me and watched Sweeney Todd when he, OMG, what's his name, JOHNNY DEPP (ARGH!) is acting!!! *faints* i bet the entire world of johnny depp lovers have watched it already la, except me....and cynthia lee who doesnt even know that there is such a show. *double faints* yep, i found that out during one of the phone conversations i had with her...she only wishes to watch Ah Long Pte Ltd. soooooooo expected. nvm, i oso want to watch. haha. so unexpected. haha.

Note: for those who dont know who is johnny depp, he is the guy who acted in Pirates of the Carribbean and Corpse Bride. ring any bells??

- Atonement

this is a war-love film starring keira knightley. What is the guy's name does not matter. cos keira knightley is pretty enough to enrapture audience's attention throughout the show. heard that this film nabbed the best film award so i am gonna squeeze time out to watch this show. but haven found someone to watch with me yet though.

- Ah Long Pte Ltd (watching on 13th Feb with my clique)

will be watching in a few hours time with my clique. haha. surprisingly i quite like this film though i aint so interested in local films usually. but i realise why i want to watch le. haha. cos one of my fav. local actor is acting. haha. Mark Lee. haha. think he is a really funny guy, whatever others say abt his character doesnt matter to me.. haha. cant wait to catch this film later.

- CJ 7

i will probably watch this show before Kung Fu Dunk ba. Stephen Chow shud be funnier then Jay Chou. we shall see. heard from my colleague, who watched this show alr that it is lame and said i shud watch Kung Fu Dunk before this. so, haven exactly made up my mind yet. Maybe will catch both on DVDs in the end. haha.

- Gone Baby Gone

- P.S. I Love You (watching on 14th Feb with my colleagues)

This, i suppose, is the correct show to watch on 14th Feb. will probably cry my heart out for this show...can feel it coming.

- Michael Clayton

i have seriously no clue why i wanna watch this show. its George Clooney who is acting and i am not a very MAJOR fan of his. Perhaps its the storyline la. Many will probably find this show quite boring and dry in content cos its almost like a law show. maybe one or two of my sec school frenz will wanna watch ba. or my mummy. haha. but i defintely wun put this show as one of the top priority ba. not the die die must watch kind...unlike Sweeney Todd...ooo..my Johnny Depp.

- Trade

this is a show i dont think anyone has heard of it before. neither did i, to be honest, till i visited golden village website and checked out some of their shows. Apparently this show is only being screened selectively in certain cinemas like Cinema Europa (like where is that rite?? precisely). but the story line is quite intriguing and probably will be one of the shows i will come to like. but i will most probably not be catching it la cos i saw the timing for that show and it is on 13th Feb in the afternoon, which is when i will be working. so i guess i will have to give it a miss!

- Jumper (mummy booked me on this one)

this show looks exactly like spiderman to me la. so why i want to watch? OK! CONFESSION! i am watching because of this cutie in the poster. ooo yes...its soooo typical of vanessa to watch a show because she likes the guy. [Cynthia will ask: Who is he?] ok. fine. He is Hayden Christensen. if i am not wrong, or at least my frenz and i are suspecting, he is the guy who acted in Star Wars - the young Jedi called Anakin Skywalker. Don't really recall where else he acted in le. haha.

- American Gangster (watched this eons with my mum)

I like to watch this kind of show la. i oso dunno how to describe what is "this kind" of show. but just the detective show with triads and maffias and drugs and abuse and blah blah blah. very much into this genre. and this is one show dat i actually wanted the bad guy to get away scot free. ahah. cos he is acted by densel washington. and i hate that cop Russel Crowe..but of course, since this is a true story, densel washington had to get caught. sianz. but its been a long time since i watched such a good movie, that i didnt mind watching it twice.

- L changes the World

haha. there has been a lot of talks arnd me and my frenz abt this show le. so i suppose there will definitely be someone to watch this show with me le. anyway, i found out that GV is gonna have a movie marathon on Death Note. wierdly, i am actually quite excited abt the marathon and even thinking if i shud join oso. ANYONE INTERESTED??? haha. GRACE??? lol.

- 27 Dresses (watched with my sec skool frenz)

i watched this show eons ago but i must say that this show is not bad at all. haha. Most importantly, they picked the right actress to irritate me to the core! and the one acting as the good character is really sweet too (the lady in the picture). But the actors were not so well chosen though. cos erm..the guy who ended with the lady in the picture was shorter than her. and the guy who was the heart throb in the show was old enough to be my dad. ok ok. i am exaggerating but seriously, cannot make it lor.

piggish vanessa took 3 days off from work, from monday to wednesday. and since thursday and friday are public holidays, vanessa does not need to work from last saturday all the way to this sunday! *cheers* haha! of cos, one week off from work spells heaven for me and disaster for my home cos there will be no peace wherever i go. but i have been out shopping for clothings for CNY on monday and tuesday cos i nvr had the time to get them. anw, neetha and i went shopping on monday and chua and i went shopping on tuesday. malls were never so beautifully empty for a long time in my opinion. if you want my advice, go shopping on weekday mornings - its the time when those who have to work go to work and those who have to study (or at least, wants to study) go and study. so the whole mall belongs to ME! hahahaa. ok. i noe no one wants to know what i bought. so i shant say either. but i have found a new stupid challenge for myself! I BOUGHT A... 3 and a 1/2 inch high heel to wear for new year. haha. for those who cant picture how high that is, its about, 1 and a 1/2 times the height of the black high heel shoes i always wear. haha! my mum says i'm mad. anw, it looks like this. TA DA!




during the weekend, i went to visit my little nephew and niece. yesh. since when did vanessa had a niece? didnt she always yak and yak non-stop abt that oh-so-cute baby called jia jun? okay okay, i actually have a baby niece but i nvr got to see her till last weekend. and i have to admit, i have been super biased towards jia jun...till i saw her. her name is Qi en, english name: Glennis. she isnt exactly as cute as jia jun BUT i found her adorable still. i suppose its fate ba, at least that is wat everyone says. cos she is a real fussy baby and doesnt allow anyone or practically everyone to carry her. and she will cry whenever she sees strangers. but she didnt when she saw me. in fact, she even allowed me to carry her. haha. probably show you her picture soon cos its in my gor gor's camera and he hasnt emailed me yet. oh and she is really cute in her own ways. its like, when you ask her "where's daddy mummy?" then she will tilt her head to her parents' wedding photo. and when we ask "where is Qi en?" den she will tilt her head backwards cos her photo is behind her parents' wedding photo. and she will tumble backwards as a result. and surprisingly, when my god-ma suddenly ask "where is jie jie?" which is me, she actually turned and look at me!!! ARGH! okie. that was the most facinating part. i think she is those kinda babies you will love her upon interaction. provided if she doesnt turn you off with her crying at first glance. haha. but she is a real sweetie. i take back my words on saying that i only like baby boys. i realise i dun. haha. or maybe for Qi en only. haha.


of cos, once again, how can vanessa let off jia jun without snapping shots of him again and again and again. ahah! this time i even managed to snap him being changed by his mummy! i am soooo gonna blackmail him when he grows up! haha! anyway, here is the handsome boy.


THE SUPERMAN POSE!



DADDY MUMMY AND ME!
my god ma is trying to make him laugh thats why he is looking that way. but i dunno why my god bro is looking that way as well. ahaha. maybe he needs to learn how to smile as well.
anw, my god bro was saying he wanna make use of his baby's good looks to earn more income and make his baby a baby model. Well done. i think i learn too much rubbish from him, that's why i am so nonsense as well.



SAY CHEESE!


AT MY X'MAS PARTY


aiight. tts all for now i guess. didnt noe why i posted this entry here as well. perhaps just to deny the fact that this blog is being abandoned soon and liven things up for the CHINESE NEW YEAR. haha
cya arnd soon..

~toodles~

OOO...
i wanna squeeze it...
PiNCh it...
come here FATTY....
ooo....i love you so much!!!

THEODORE!!!!

ARGH!!!!



















Theodore is ADORABLE with a capital A la..looking at the picture above, i think you know which one i am refering to without knowing the names of the chipmunks. YIKES! SO CUTE!!!! SO FAT!!! haha...i wish i had a pet like that...its cheek is SOOOO PUFFY and his ass is so big...BUT HE IS SO CUTE!!! he is the baby among the three. the one in the middle is the mischeivous one called Alvin and the one in blue is the smart one called Simon.


BUT! lets focus on the little green thing....focus focus...

aww....



anw, i recently visited my darling and took some picture with him...such another adorable fella...


CUTE ANOT??!!!! He has very beautiful eyes right?? very bright..and he has very puffy cheeks and he looks so adorable with that stupid red bandana my stupid god brother wore for him...

ooooo.....I DON'T LIKE HIM...I LUURRRVE HIM!!!

OoPs...i forgot to introduce him. His name is 佳俊(jia jun)...forgot his english name.

He is my elder god-brother son. and that makes me his aunty...yep yep. but he shud call me jie jie since i am so young...ahem.

and this is his grandma...which is my god-ma...apparently this is the most successful photo (the left one) i took that he was staring at me...but guess who is not ready to take the picture. sigh. yes...the adult, my godma.

and the rest he was looking like this. i think he is shy..dunno why oso...cos his father is dunno how to shy de lor..

aiight. hope you like this "cute" picture entry
...and also hope that CLEO or some magazine is gonna organise a BABY PHOTO COMPETITION...GUESS WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO SEND THE PHOTOS?

THATS RIGHT.

ME!

haha...